How You Get There... Is Half The Fun...

Taking a journey.. or shall I say.. the journey is taking me.. the path I do not know.. but I am commited to hanging on for the ride. Let me not fall and lose sight of my way.. or the lessons ment for me. With the most amazing husband and children by my side.. welcome to me!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

more pictures...




















Pictures are worth a thousand words... at least .....

The one of the four of us.. was when Michael was saying his vows to the b oys.. they were.. wow.. .. top left.. if Mr Shirley.. one of my Moms.. reading during the ceremony.. I also included a group shot.. and a cake that his sister brought....

For those that dont know.. My sister in law is a photgrapher.. and she posed the youth in attendance for a group pic... *giggle*..

Doesnt lil Dawson.. look so grown up.. wow..

well I dont want this page to be a really slow load.. so I am gonna publish.. ;) I will add more soon..

Living large and outside the box,B

Thursday, June 15, 2006

what you may have missed *giggle*

What most of you may have missed *giggle*.. everyone was pretty much gone wi th the exception of a few family members. It has been a long day.. and everyone who knows me.. knows that I have a lil silly side *giggle*

Picture it for a moment.. it had been raining most of the afternoon.. as many of you noticed.. it was getting a wee bit muddy in our pack yard *giggle*

I can hear you now.. she didnt.. Well.. yes she did.. My husband and I.. and My sister dee.. and the best stand in brother a girl could have barry.. well.. see for yourself *giggle*


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Oh how she tried to get me down.. *giggle*.. but .. alas.. she didnt not succeed *giggle*

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as you can see.. I am nice and muddy to.. Man oh man.. I love michael.. we can play together.. *giggle*..

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*giggle*..

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The best friends a girl and guy could have *giggle*.. I have always said.. some friends will stand in the mud with ya.. *giggle*.. these ones do.. we act like siblings.. who says genetics is everything *giggle*



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We kept Barry's shirt.. we all signed it.. talk about a wedding momento.. *giggle*. The day was filled with memories to last a life time.. :)


<--Me and Jenny
Me and wee man *giggle* Michael's Grandma, Aunt and Uncle
Abby and my stand up and stand in Brother Barry

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Update






Greetings,

I heard through the grape vine that people were asking ab out Michael, the boys and I.. so here I am updating. :)

As some of you may know.. Michael and I were married on June 3rd 2006 at 5:05 pm. Merging not only ourselves, but the boys as well. We became one family.. under the eyes of God .. in a formal sense.

We would like to thank all of those wonderful souls who came out to share the day with us. No doubt it was a surprize indeed *giggle*.. It was a day that truly reflected us , and what we are about. We came up against some hiccups getting there. There was a lil issue of the licence, I didnt have the exact id they needed.. but that was quickly worked out. Then we had someone pull their support and help to us from under our feet 48 hours before the big day was take place. But again, we didnt let that stop us. We had to sit back and access, communicate and make a decision.. and we decided that married we would be.

It is actually a pretty sad feeling, when you are feeling like you have been sent a message that you weren't worthy in someones eyes. However, we all only answer to one person.. God.. there is no single person that has the right to take that away from anyone..

The day was perfect.. lush trees, rain drops and love of friends and family.. t here to lo ve, honor and support us. Which cleared up any questions we had that it was truly Gods will th at we merge and commit our lives to each other for all of eternity.

Since June 3rd.. we have been busy like bees *giggle*.. Michael and I are both working odd shifts.. stealing time to gether when we can.. and this last weekend we spent in Etobicoke with my new family ( aka my in laws). Jenny, Michael sister is a proffesional photographer, and she took some formalish shots for us... which we hope to have back soon. We have been getting some great emails with shots from family and friends with pictures they took through out the day.. if you happen to have some... please send them on to us ;)

There is so much I missed that day.. * giggle*.. here I thought I would able to socialize for the few hours before the wedding.. ya.. not so likely.. *giggle*.. I was running around like.. like.. well like me.. trying to tie up loose ends.. readings .. and stealing a few min utes alone with my MOH and Mrs Shirley and Diane..

IT was an amazing day.. one I am sure no one will soon forget.. We often speak about foster community.. Micahel and I wanted you all here.. to do just that.. we included people hat have m ade an strong impression on us and our relat ionship..we thought about getting e veryoen to read.. but we would have been reading all day *giggle*.. instead.. the pastor worked in an interactive part.. so everyone was taking part..... and tada.. we are husband and wife. Joined together for all of time.. together..to grow, change, compliment, strive, reach, dream and so on..

I have to say.. the pastor including that lil bit about him being the last person to ever stand between us.. was perfect.. no one has ever stood between us.. and as God( and all that were here ) as our wi tnesses.. no one ever will again.

Dream well, and Dream Big.. because happy ever afters do happen.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006




Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Sunsets

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What a delicious time of day it is when I can look into the sun rise or sun set.. somehow the distance between me and those I adore seems far less.. .. it would seem that for those few minutes.. I am right there with you.. If you ever long for me.. that is where you will find me.. in the sun rises and sun sets.. and in your dreams.. the three places I can never be taken from.

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I regularly sit in silence during these times.. trying to connect with those so far away. I sit in prayer, I simply sit.. I just be.. be who I am.. looking into myself to who I will be. When days are long.. and filled with so much rush rush rush.. look for me.. in your sun.. I will stand wi th you.. no matter what... I am there..

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In your sun.. in my sun.. all one of the same.. dancing rays on the walls.. I am dancing to... that bright flash that blinds your vision if only for a fleeting moment.. that is me to.. I am right there.. right here.. with you... When you look into the typical places.. that is where you will find me.. loving you..and adoring you with everything I am..

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When you feel weak like you can bare another day.. I am right there with you.. we share the same air.. the same sun.. the same world.. I am there with you.. and you are here with me.. you are never alone.. we are always together.. although miles apart... so when the days are really long and you dont know w hat to do.. remember these worlds I am saying now.. I am always there with you.

See ya on the flip side, B

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Some of my favorite quotes...

I adore quotes.. I have piled them over the years.. I am one of those that has inspirational messages scattered throughout the home. For years I had a though for the day on our voice mail... always in motion.. looking for the next lesson to be learnt.. always changing.. always evolving..

Here are just a snippet of some of my favorite quote :)


You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays.
- Professor Harold Hill (The Music Man)


He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones.
- Anwar el Sadat

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
- George Bernard Shaw

Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishment toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
- unknown

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.
- Storm Jameson

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
- Dr. Dale Turner


The Rules For Being Human

When you were born, you didn't come with an owner's manual; these guidelines make life work better.

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called "Life on Planet Earth". Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. "Failures" are as much a part of the process as "success."

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it -- then you can go on to the next lesson.

5. If you don't learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.

6. You will know you've learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.

7. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" becomes a "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that again looks better than "here."

8. Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.

9. Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life -- or someone else will.

10. You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract -- therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.

11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralizing doesn't help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.

12. Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written. You know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.

13. You will forget all this.

14. You can remember any time you wish.



SMILE!!!!

B

Sunday, May 14, 2006

My red socks & engagement party :)

Sitting at the frwy tonight we were asked about "our red socks".. what would we be willing to give up to be closer to God.. I listened.. and I didn't speak up .. partially because I couldn't find the words.. and then they struck me.. my red socks.. would be.. giving up the idea t hat I am damaged goods.. and expecting others to treat me as such..

I am not damaged..

May seem like a relatively simple concept to some.. for me it is not.. I always expect that people see what I have lived.. how 'colorful' my 29 years have been.. and It struck me tonight ( wi th a lil push from Pernell earlier this week) that I am not damaged in the eyes of God.. I am clean, untainted.. For the life of me.. I cant find the verse now :s anyone.. happen to remember.. I know I should write this stuff down .. *giggle*



Goodness.. gotta love how things speak to you so differently at different t imes in your life. WOW.. in awe as I often am.... how amazing.. so much to be grateful for.. a big one being willing and able to be engaged in the process. BREATHE IN... BREATHE OUT!!!!


Now.. on to....


THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY!!!!!

It is June 3rd.. Our backyard....pot luck.. come on down.. we would really love you to be here :) I can hear you now.. but B.. we dont know where we are going.. well.. email us at phoenix-holdsworth@hotmail.com and we will send ya all the necessary info :)

I am getting really excited to have everyone here.. sure to be a day no one will soon forget :) Dorian asked to borrow the sound system from the frwy.. so.. Dorian.. a mic.. ya.. no doubt gonna be entertaining :) *giggle*.. I am so excited..

Be a great day.. and laugh loudly :)
B